Fa La La

So much to do and soooo tired. 

Happy Birthday to Me

My 45th birthday and I'm awake super early - actually got up to take cough medicine and stayed up to do two crossword puzzles, eat some corn chips, read some of Saturday's paper.  After putting in a load of wash, tidying the kitchen, and writing the kids' tuition check I think I will go back downstairs and crop for a bit since my scrapbooking things are still spread out all over the dining room table.  I have the day off to do whatever I want and while I have something from work to check into there are no emergencies there demanding my attention today.  I may go shopping - could definitely use a manicure - will probably swing by the library to see if there are any books I haven't read by my favorite authors - the sarcastic chick lit stuff - Jane Green, Marian Keyes, Sophie Kinsella, etc.

I'm in a really good place right now and feeling really thankful about the blessings I'm fortunate to have and where I am in my life.  How's that for going from the mundane to the deep in a paragraph with no transition?

Would love to lose 20 pounds but I'll do it - maybe this will be the year that I do it.  Happy Birthday to me...I just love this quiet time when everything else is quiet and I am in touch with my own thoughts.

New Day Dawning

Feeling like my old self again at work.  Feeling better than my old self at home.  Every day there are lessons to be learned.  I'm more than hopeful; I've got my confidence back.  Thanks for the comment Risha - f*&^ 'em if they can't take a joke....and life goes on for all of us. 

The kids are having a fun end of summer/beginning of Fall.  Jackson started CCD to get a little religious education in him.  Our parish has a preK class.  Lots of coloring and crafts with some prayers and songs mixed in.  I'm a teachers' aide so I get to stay and see what he's up to in there.

I look at Kate and wonder how this amazingly charming and beautiful creature came into my life - well, duh, she's my daughter.  Can't believe how wonderful she is which is her saving grace when she's busy trying to show us how terrible the two's can be.  Where did my little Piggers go?  She's a skinny thing now!

Don't let the screen door

hit you in the backside on your way out...I'm not a fan of country music but that's got to be a song.  Just had the worst performance review ever and feel positively nauseous.  Suffice it to say that my reactions and responses to being harassed and pushed beyond my limit were duly noted, documented, and further discussed to come up with my dismal rating.  To add insult to injury I was told that at least I moved in to a new role because had I not it would have been tough going for me to turn things around perhaps not possible.  I'll go into lessons learned later when my head isn't hurting so badly.  I guess I'm supposed to feel fortunate that I wasn't asked to go. 

Two Weeks Into It

Two weeks into the new gig and I'm loving life.  There are a few things work related that I'm thinking about because they're pending and I need to get on top of them but it's nothing like the constant angst about where to find candidates for hard to fill positions and which ones to devote the necessary chunks of time to and by process of elimination which ones to ignore  - which always led me to live the big lie and think I could give everything the attention it needed.  Ah well, no need to even go down that tought path any longer.  It's someone else's responsibility now and I have new ones.

The commute into the city is about 15 mins longer than I was doing to Tysons.  Getting up at 5:30 and getting there before 7:30 is a piece of cake and I get more time to ramp up before others come in and track me down.  Leaving by 4:00 is very cool because I'm picking up the kids earlier and am not as rushed to get dinner on the table.  Not thrilled about parking on the street and having the car out there on busy Wisconsin Avenue all day PLUS it's so dang hot these past two weeks - I cannot remember getting into a car as hot as mine has been this past week though I'm sure it would be impossible if I were driving the black on black BMW still.  I think I need to give up my parking in Tysons and save the money for the duration of this project.  It will help with the additional gas from the slightly shorter commute and fewer days working from home. 

Still have the urge to pinch myself to make sure I'm awake and this is for real and the stress is really gone.  I know there will be stressful days with this but I just can't believe the pressure will get to the point it was in the past six months with recruiting.  Talk about catching a break when I needed it the most!  Someone is looking out for me!

 

Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily

Last day of vacation.  Went to Mass, picked up some summer sales at Kohl's - clothes for 2 of 3 kids, hit Super Target for some groceries forgotten from the last list.  Printing more flowers & nature photos for my scrapbook.  This should be enough to run with and finish off the book if I keep up the momentum.  Still have clean laundry to fold and more to be washed...wish it would just disappear.  Want to keep chillin' out at least until Kate gets up and requires supervision.  Trying not to make tomorrow a bigger deal than it really is - first day at FM but not like it's a new job in a new company with all new people to get to know.  Still nervous about the new routine and getting out the door by 6:15 though.  It's going to be fine....

Some Really Good Karma Finally Reaching my House

What a nice long break this week has been, a much needed long break.  Without very little angst I managed to get my work wrapped up for year end and to hand off and my paperwork completed and submitted for starting in my new role on Monday.  Also cleared with the partner my trip to Chicago for training.  Things have been really good for us - we love our house though we talk continuously of plans for improvements.  Our kids are terrific though we talk about how nice it would be to be awakened by an alarm clock at 8 a.m. vs. them at 6:30 every morning.  I love my job and my company even though work had gotten extremely stressful of late so after talking with my coach about the plan I had mapped out and with her urging me to take a few steps farther I had some conversations leading to my new role in HR and out of recruiting as well as the opportunity to be trained to facilitate a class on coaching skills.  Coach Lynn feels as I do that getting in with the group trained to deliver the coaching skills training gets me a little closer into the department where I ultimately want to work.  Now may not be the right time for me as they are just mapping things out organizationally but it's a great sign that they're now waiting for that to be complete before rolling out the training to our managers and partners.  Can you say jazzed?  I'm a little nervous but I totally love the idea of coaching and am going to have a blast with this training.....It was a little odd at first to actually have the green light to go ahead and stop knocking my head against that brick wall that is tax recruiting.  Don't get me wrong, I love a challenge and the rewards of that role were many - especially the people I've gotten to know better after they joined us and still count among my friends there.  But I finally knew I'd had enough and needed to make a change.  What an awesome opportunity I've been given!! 

Stuff

Today I have Stuff on my mind.  I've been blogging about getting rid of some of our Stuff that we no longer use, need, want or shouldn't have saved in the first place.  The garage sale was a minor hit, having things picked up for donation 3 days later took another chunk, as did Jeff giving a quantity of baby gear to someone he knows.  I sold 3/5 items listed on ebay and will list more when I have the time to take the pics and do the listings.  But the thing about the Stuff today is this...picking up Stuff is a full time job.  I am fairly conscientious about picking up my own Stuff after myself, though I have a major mess of a pile of scrapbook stuff taking over a corner in our room.  Then there is the kids' Stuff.  Must I even describe the phenomenon of the kids' Stuff?  I enter MY room, pick up a handful of kids' Stuff strewn about on my bed and the floor.  I go into another room for no more than 5 MINUTES and come back to find more kids' Stuff on my bed and on the floor. 

There is kids' Stuff on my front porch - a stroller, a wagon, 2 trikes, a scooter, a big bike.  There is kids' Stuff all over the family room - the pretend kitchen, nursery, overflowing toychest, books.  With very little room in the garage after two cars, a motorcycle, and lots of tools the overflow is on the front porch - no, I'm sorry, the main inventory is on the front porch and the overflow on the patio in back.  We spent the finishing the basement budget on the kitchen project so the family room remains the play room.  Ok, pat on the back to me for starting the mammoth task of clearing the basement so we CAN finish it off - but I digress....and I'm not including the kids' Stuff in their own rooms except to mention that strangely, my Stuff, ends up in there...in the same way they drag their Stuff into my room they drag mine out and into their own rooms....kind of like a tidal thing, maybe?

But wait, there's more about Stuff - there is the stuff that we carry in every day with us - mail, mostly junkmail, newspapers, school papers, pocket change, other Stuff from inside pants pockets.  I try to capture the mail pile before it even enters the house and sort out the bills and occasional real mail from the junk and toss it into the can - same with the junk newspapers - but it still manages to sneak inside in someone else's hands to sit on the kitchen counter taunting me. 

I've installed my new piggy bank collection throughout the house to capture the change, purchased a big basket to collect the magazines, sort the mail into his and mine and set aside in designated spots but it's only the tip of the iceberg.  I have nightmares about dirty laundry comingling with clean clothes and coming after me followed by newspapers and LLBean catalogs with an evil look in their eye.  I have to wonder if it's any different for the stay at home mom with stay at home little ones.  I'm imagining it gets better in that case when the kids start school.  But for we who work outside the home when do we have the chance to catch up on all of their Stuff?  Some people stay up and do it after everyone's in bed.  That's not happening here.  On the rare occasion when I have a few hours left in me after the little ones are in bed I selfishly do something that I like to do - read, work on my scrapbooks, surf around on the computer.  I suppose as the kids get a little older responsibility for their Stuff can be partially transferred to them.  It's got to get easier, right?

 

Happy Fathers Day! Scored big with the Seiko watch and new griddle pan for Daddy to make his pancakes. How cool is it to live so close to the outlet stores?

Yard Sale Day - I measure the success not but the take but by how much less stuff we have to haul back into the house. After giving away a car full of baby gear to a colleague of Jeff's we unloaded a respectable portion of household items and clothing including things that were given to me as hand-me-downs. I'm just glad out things went to new homes. The re
mainder is a more manageable pile sorted into clothing, etc. that will be easier to donate to purple heart next time they come calling. I think I will list the scanner, the halloween costume, and maybe a few other things on ebay. Maybe even all of that old Karla Jordan jewelry. There's a thought. Everything must go! ha!

You are going to laugh...I planted one sorry tomato plant, a best boy or something, not an heirloom.  I haven't had much luck with tomatoes since I moved here to VA.  I have 2 cukes but only because my neighbor buys a 4 pack every year because she only wants two but can't find them in 1's or 2's....other than herbs I have marigolds and some purple salvia.  I ordered 4 new rosebushes and decided that rather than replace some that had died I'm going to use the raised bed where I typically plant th
plant the veggies and make that my rose garden so they'll get full sun all day....After spending loads on 12 new ones last year and having them get black spot almost immediately....I'm wising up at last!

Progress is being made

I've always been a bit of a sprinter but this marathon stuff isn't so bad now that I'm making real headway in organizing this house.  We have so much STUFF, it's ridiculous.  I have the weeding out clothes the kids outgrow and giving them away down to a science.  I've made at least one pass through all of our closets.  Our still needs major work but progress is being made.  This is not exciting stuff but it feels so good to get a bit organized and for so long it was so overwhelming I just didn't know where to begin.  Last night I finished organizing my scrapbooking stuff and I feel like I'm really back in the swing with working on my books on a regular basis.  I'm cropping again tonight at the scapbook store with Maureen.  Again, not exciting stuff  but getting out of the house AND preserving family memories is nothing to scoff at.  I guess I feel this is so much of an accomplishment because my mother never had the time to get this stuff done.  Every drawer in the house being a junk drawer is the way I grew up so when others are uber-organized it makes my jaw drop....The thing is that our house is the biggest one I've ever lived in and theoretically we have loads of storage space so making the most efficient use of it is on me.  There is just so much STUFF. 

I'm finding it easier to let go of stuff I'd ordinarily save and for the stuff I really do want to save I'm storing it properly vs. shoving it someplace.  I've also been able to let go of some favorite clothing that I can't foresee getting into anytime soon.  I still have a small group of size 6 items that I can't bear to part with but we're talking maybe a handful. 

I still have miles to go but feel like I've completed quite a few laps and I'm really revved up about it now....little racing analogy there in honor of the fact that I had the misfortune to be in Charlotte last week and couldn't get a decent room because everythings jammed up for NASCAR....who knew???

Other developments on the home front - although the little ones, especially Kate, have both been nightmares about sleeping through the night in their own beds - they've started all playing together for stretches of time that are more than 5 seconds so Jeff and I can actually read a newspaper article, fold a basket of laundry, or take a shower without having to referee some sort of altercation.  I think Alex and Jackson are maxing out on togetherness at the moment - they've been playing for several hours and he's tired today from the 4 way wrestling match that took place in our bed thru the night with Kate and him both in there with us thrashing about....She just will not stay in that bed of hers these day....sigh...I'm thinking of strapping her in but she's pretty loud and would probably wake the neighborhood....seriously, we're just trying our best and waiting for her to grow out of it.

That's all for now as I've got some work stuff to get done - pesky travel expense reports, an email to write, my year end self evaluation to do, and some checks to write....then it's off to the store for some groceries I forgot.  Talk about excitement....at least it's dreary today and I'm in the mood to plow thru chores vs. wanting to sit at the pool. 

It's Sunday Again

Tomorrow it's back to the grind to clean up the messes that accumulated while I disengaged for the week.  I can't say that all of the closets got cleaned out but I feel like I made a dent - got some things organized, some things done, some things scheduled, had some new ideas.  I feel infinitely better equipped (ok not infinitely, there's a limit to the crap one can absorb) to deal with the stresses of work...better equipped to work on taking the stress out of work, to stop internalizing more...I've already gone a little down that road and it feels terrific. 

The other day we talked about taking a long weekend and renting a cabin in the woods, near a lake or something.  I need to research the possibilities because that sounds heavenly to me.

After the week off

I will have to admit that while I could most definitely use another full week off to putter around the house and garden that this week has served its intended purpose.  I feel recharged and energized to some extent.  The trip to visit the Mama took two days out of my plan but it was time well spent.  Having the files and "important papers" finally in order paved the way to making the appointment for estate planning.  The savings accounts for the little ones are finally open so all of their gift money can go right in and their nest eggs will grow.  I have miles to go but this campaign of getting rid of so much excess of everything is underway and paying off.  Wow, it was nice to come downstairs this morning to a really clean refrigerator!!  Sometimes it's the simple things that mean a lot....

Vacation Day 1

Yes friends, that's the FLY Lady - FLY = Finally Loving Yourself....I am a half day into my vacation week and have written checks, folded and put away laundry, talked with Stacey and Mom, and now I'm diving into four boxes of "stuff" that need to be gone through and organized - mostly chucked - some salvaged to remain as my "files".  Paris Hilton is on Ellen today - that alone is worth taking a vacation day.  She has her four dogs with her and the show is all about dogs.  My brain would NOT turn to mush if I didn't have a job!

Can I phone my lifeline now?

These stupid mood choices - most of the time none of them match my mood.  Lots of time I'm chillin' but right now I'm feeling at my wits' end, just a shade above hopeless, disgusted, like all the work I do to move forward has just friggin' tumbed down around my ears.  I just said "I'm fed up with being fed up".  I decided to take next week off to do some Spring cleaning, visit my mother for a day, and recharge my batteries.  So there.

Can I phone my lifeline now?

These stupid mood choices - most of the time none of them match my mood.  Lots of time I'm chillin' but right now I'm feeling at my wits' end, just a shade above hopeless, disgusted, like all the work I do to move forward has just friggin' tumbed down around my ears.  I just said

Midnight Snack Time

As to Risha's comment about being brave to get my peepers fixed I never would have considered it had Jeff not had his done a year ago by the same doctor who is the "Eye Guy" in Washington.  Jeff couldn't have been more pleased and when I read the bio of Dr. Boutros and all of his experience etc. my mind was made up.  After the first consult I had even more confidence because his staff is extremely professional, the wait times are minimal if any to be seen, I got to meet him the very first day...I can't say enough good things about this well run practice but after the fact I will say that he was right - on a scale from 1-10, my C-sections were a 40 and this eye thing was a 0.1.  I was a big baby going into it and there was no need.  The discomfort was minimal, the "pain" was minimal compared to what I've been through wearing gas permeable lenses for over 20 years, and best of all I CAN SEE!!!!!!  No lenses, no specs - I can wake up and SEE!!!

As to why I am up at 3:00 a.m. eating hot crossed buns, drinking tea and blogging - my eyes were a bit tired last night so I wanted to rest them vs. reading, surfing, watching TV so after I put Kate to bed I hit the hay myself - ok, the 3 glasses of wine were of help.  So when she woke me up half an hour ago for her nightly trip from her bed to ours I decided to come down to make sure the buns were satisfactory to feed to my family for breakfast....uh huh.

It's been a nice 4 days off since my eye surgery.  I did no work, got a ton of sleep, spent time with a friend and worked on Kate's scrapbook for the first time in 6 mos., put pansies in my hanging pots on the front porch, spent time checking out the birds visiting my feeders (Blue Jay, Cardinal Couple, Woodpecker, Sparrows, Robin, some cute little black thing with a white breast that I need to look up) and feel pretty much like a human being again vs. a wind up doll that goes nuts every morning at 7:00 a.m. and crashes every evening just after 8:00 p.m.  I like this a whole lot better than the manic frenetic existence I've had.  I can actually hear myself think right now.  Alright I'd better not get carried away - I needed to get up in the middle of the night to capture this silence because the kids are nonstop noise when they're up.  But this resting has been good for me in total - physically and for my soul.

Another Sunday Morning

Time to jump in the shower and get ready for Mass.  Opened the mail from the last half of the week and there were letters from the Easter Bunny for the little one....so sweet!  Thanks Annette (I mean Easter Bunny's helper) for making the donation to the arthritis foundation that generated the letters and little Easter crafts for the kids. 

Yesterday Jeff mulched half the flower beds - maybe 2/3's and everything looks much fresher.  I planted pink and white pansies in the hanging baskets for the front porch and found some tulip bulbs I'd never planted that had begun to sprout some green so I planted them in a big pot on the patio.  I hope they bloom because they'll be lovely and if they don't this year they probaby will next year. 

Am a little annoyed right now about trying to have a conversation with the spouse that earned me a very rude remark.  Conversations are rare and diffucult to initiate because if the timing isn't just right I get shut down.  Right now doesn't seem worth the bother nor does it make me want to make the nice Sunday dinner I'd planned.  Another buzz kill.....

Had My Eyes Done

Had my Lasik surgery on Thursday.  Yesterday was a little frustrating because I couldn't see as well as I would if I had my contacts in so I could drive but not really read or do much else without feeling it was a little fuzzy but today woke up feeling like I could see as well as with my contacts so WooooHooooo!!!  Eyes are a little dry today which is annoying but I CAN SEE WITHOUT GLASSES OR CONTACTS!!  I have been wearing specs since 3rd grade so this is huge for me.  Now to come down from my cloud and clean up this house...not so glamorous but since I napped all afternoon yesterday it's time to get on the stick.

Whateva

Mood says I'm loopy but I'm really in a "mood".  A WTF mood....thought I had a big fat blog going on but now I'm at a standstill...more later....

This is getting boring huh?

Alex is here this weekend and she suggested Jeff take her and Jax to the movies.  Jackson has never been to a movie at a theater. 

I'm still in my nightshirt straightening up the house - e.g. clearing out a bunch of stuff from Kate's drawers that no longer fits so her clothing isn't stuffed in and we can actually find socks in the morning.  I dressed her in a really cute pink cordouroy dress just because she's been wearing jeans and turtlenecks all week and I wanted to dress her up.  Now I have to figure out a place for us to go maybe.  It's almost her nap time so that buys me some time to take a shower, etc.

Tomorrow Jax and I will go to mass.  Our new church, Our Lady of Hope, opened last weekend.  I had stopped going weekly and when I restarted around Thanksgiving I began attending at the newer parish right up the road a piece vs. my old parish in the town we used to live in.  I stayed with the old one because I'd been active  as a lector, etc. prior to having the kids and this new parish didn't even form until a year or so after we moved here and I didn't know about it right away....they built a big church and a Catholic elementary school and started raising money for the church which was finished recently and dedicated on 1/17.  It's really a neat structure - they call it modern gothic - see drawing attached and here is the link to the parish website.   http://www.ourladyofhope.net/about.asp   I've been thinking I'd like Jackson to go to the school but haven't discussed with Jeff yet.  First thing's first - I haven't even registered in the parish yet.  

Sounds like a typical weekend for me - I don't have a big plan.  We usually spend the weekend trying to get the house tidied up from the busy week. grocery shopping, etc. before starting back into the grind all over again.   I need to get up to see my mom - the weekend I had was all set to go turned out to be when my friend's Stephen's memorial service was held and I felt like I needed to go to that. 

Sunday Again

It's nearly nine and time to get ready for Mass.  Jackson and I will be going to the new church for the first time this morning.  The dedication was Thursday and now that the bishop has sprinkled the walls with holy water, and incense has been burned throughout, it's time to go there vs. the SRO high school auditorium.  Yeah!

I'm sitting here with my coffee, in the clothes I wore yesterday and then slept in.  Jackson, who took a long nap (all afternoon) did not want to go to bed last night so after listening to him wail for 30 minutes or so came up to lie down with him and fell asleep.  It was one of those nights where I woke up throughout and thought about getting into my own bed - ah, the cool, smooth sateen sheets - but instead slept with Batman. 

We've just finished our breakfast of oatmeal and fresh strawberries.  Jeff and little lady will be staying home and Jax and I will embark on the Sunday routine of Mass then to Wegman's for groceries.

Peaceful Sunday - Am I in the Wrong House?

Work is as busy as ever but my new recruiting coordinator started last week and suddenly I feel like I can breathe.  The person who referred her is a close friend of hers who used to do the same job so the friend came down from Philly to train Danielle all day Wednesday - suddenly I'm getting really lucky.   Since I'm over my bronchitis and whatever else from over the holidays I feel loads better and got a ton of work done yesterday, am doing some today, and tomorrow is a holiday for us but I'll be working some tomorrow as well while toasting MLK and his contributions to our society.  Last year at this time I was headed into the delivery room with my friend Stacey who had her son Ben on MLK's bday.   My ankle biters are doing well.  It's been a relaxing weekend believe it or not.  Jackson and I attempted Mass this a.m. but is was SRO in the hall of the high school auditorium so I might as well not have been there but we stuck it out then went grocery shopping.    It's sunny here but bitter cold and windy.