Thursday, December 27, 2007

Bah Humbug

Pale Blue SnowflakeWhat do I have to be miserable about - I'm in the middle of 14 days off from work with no major plans, commitments, obligations and I'm in a bit of a funk?  What is up with that?  I've got that sense of the time just ticking away but what is the big deal - my only objective was to make a great Christmas for the kids and enjoy some quality time off with them and Jeff and here we are snugs as four bugs in a rug - five if you count the dog.  The house is clean, the fridge is full, the laundry is not overflowing, so what is my deal?  I think I need to make a list of things I'd like to get done and prioritize that list according to what should be done while I'm off and what can wait, etc.  and just start getting some things done.  I think the root of my problem is that I don't know how to act when I'm not in panic mode but I WANT to know how to act when I'm not in panic mode because I want to live in this mode not in panic mode.  Ok, I've gotten to the root of the funk - now let's attack it shall we? 

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Fa La La La La

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house, the cleaning ladies were stirring all they could rouse.  We're all crammed in the basement to stay out of their way.  I'm hoping the kids behave themselves today.  They should be done shortly, they've been here since 9.  I'm playing with my new computer and everyone else is fine.  For now.

We're all home together for the rest of the week.  Alex is here today and will be opening her gifts since she didn't come over yesterday.  Stacey and Dave will be coming over for dinner later - could be a new tradition - to celebrate Boxing Day with the Jewish friends.  Yesterday was nice and peaceful - opened the gifts, ate breakfast, relaxed a bit, went to Mass, relaxed some more, made and ate a simple dinner, to bed earlyish but stayed up to watch one episode of the Cold Case marathon. 

Must think of some stuff to do with the kids to keep them from going stir crazy in the house.  Chuck E. Cheese's is out of the question.  We still have to make the holiday pierogis but that is a lot of work and captures their interest for only a short time.  Maybe a trip to Baltimore to see the train exhibit I heard about.  Must go Google that now!

Sunday, November 4, 2007

I had such a relaxing day but I am so tired!

Another weekend and I keep meaning to hit the scrapbooks – even have two pages planned out, ready to crop and decorate…but the weekend activities kept me from it – yesterday afternoon was wide open – took a nap J Today was wide open – organized all of the online photos in one master file and now burning CD’s as backup.  Did pork loin in the slow cooker and made an apple cake while keeping the laundry going.  I’m exhausted, have I mentioned that I’m exhausted?  Haven’t written since summer vacation and tons have been going on since – Jackson is in kindergarten and doing well.  In two weeks he’ll switch from after school daycare to a program at the martial arts studio and he’ll be on his way to being a tae kwon do master.  He’s been asking about doing that since school began in September and finally I checked it out and it seems like a really good deal.  Soccer is over for both Kate and Jax and she’ll be starting dance lessons at the same studio where her friends Neena and Kelly take class.  She’s also been asking about that for a while but with soccer and swimming enough was enough.  I’m exhausted, LOL

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


Delicious! That is the word I use to describe having the 2nd week at the beach.  The kids are loving it – everyone is relaxed and there is a big difference in their clinginess from last week.  The weather has been fabulous – we couldn’t ask for more



Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Some Adult Time

I had some adult time tonight.  Even though Jeff went out of town today I managed to secure a babysitter and went to the business dinner meeting that I had made plans to attend.  I thought about canceling.  The babysitter got lost on her way here and I figured that if she didn’t arrive by a certain time it wasn’t worth going and I wouldn’t go.  I thought about calling home as soon as I got there but I was late as it was – I called as soon as it ended figuring she’d be getting them ready for bed and wouldn’t answer.  I worried all the way home because there was no answer but I alternated that with noticing that I didn’t feel completely drained and exhausted or like I needed a glass of chardonnay and fast….Then I got home and they were freshly bathed, in their p.j.s and listening to a story.  It’s 9:00 p.m. and I’m not asleep on my feet ready to fall asleep right alongside them.  This has been a good experience.  I think that if I carve out the me time – really take the me time instead of just talking about it or wishing I had it – I will be a more patient and relaxed parent.  It takes work to find the right fit with a babysitter and even a great one may not work out because of change in circumstances, car trouble, etc.  but if I keep at it I could potentially find someone who’s conveniently local, who works well with my kids, and get some help with the most difficult times of the day – namely after  work – amusing them, feeding them, getting them ready for bed.  Even a break once in a while is so nice.  Or I guess Jeff and I could alternate more regularly.  It’s our own fault for spoiling them so that neither one goes to sleep without a parent anymore.  More work to undo what we’ve done by letting them get used to our presence until they’re fast asleep.  And we knew better even as we were doing it but were too tired to not lie down for just a minute or two that turns into hours or all night.  Even Jeff made me feel guilty for sticking with my plans – because he expressed concern about leaving them with a new babysitter.  She was sweet and adorable and they had a blast.  The kitchen table got cleaned off, they got bathed and pj’d and all was quiet on the home front when I got home.  In the past I stopped myself from going through with finding a mother’s helper to assist during that stressful after work time but that’s crazy – having someone around to amuse them while I change clothes, return a phone call, start dinner…would make a huge difference.   I can’t believe how awake I feel

Sunday, June 10, 2007

It is the best of times; it is the worst of times

Do I not have the most adorable children in the world – adorable, intelligent, polite – is my daughter not sending me around the bend with her constant whining?  Why was I misled about the terrible two’s?  She was a peach at two – she’s impossible at three when she’s not being a snuggly mommy’s princess, that is.  There are five articles of clothing that she will wear – and she will wear them clean or dirty.  That is five articles of clothing from amongst the sinful abundance of cute girl clothes and funky girl clothes and on and on.  And the whining – her whining has started to be like a knife in the knot of tension in my back.  What to do – she gets whatever she wants but she whines regardless.  <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Jackson went through this.  This too shall pass.  My neck is killing me.  Advil’s not touching it.  <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Sunday, February 25, 2007

It's Lent

Read the latest update now by using this link:

My best friend from college, Julie, sent me this link a few weeks ago.  This young kid, age 14, plays soccer in the same league and Julie's kids Dillon and Rachel.  He attends a Catholic high school in the same community I grew up in - his school, Salesanium, was all boys back then - not sure if it still is.  St. Anthony of Padua was the all girls' sister school and was my 2nd choice for high school.  Andrew collapsed 28 days ago after playing in a soccer tournament.  They thought it was appendicitis but he not only had sepsis but it turns out he also has previously undiagnosed leukemia.  The infection wreaked havoc on his body and he's obviously been in the hospital ever since.  I've been praying for him and thinking about him and being grateful for the health of my own kids ever since.  Andrew's Dad blogs about this experience every day.  This is helping me keep my perspective about being fat, old, out of shape, overwhelmed, a procrastinator, behind at work, snowed in, etc. etc.  I've given up chardonnay for Lent this year - yes ladies I have given up my favorite grape.  Jackson, who I'm sure does not fully grasp Lenten sacrifice although it was discussed this past week in his preK catechism class...has given up watching Star Wars, his favorite movie....
We had a bunch of snow starting last night at midnight-ish and lasting until early this afternoon when it turned to rain.  I was out and about in it - had to get groceries so ended up at Costco, the pet store (buying fish and fish supplies) after Mass.  I fly to Dallas tomorrow evening for training on Tuesday.  Flying back home Tuesday afterward.  The training is a refresher of The Coach Approach training I had back in the summer.  I did teach one class in early Dec.  They've added a module to it specific to using coaching skills when doing career counseling so I have to go learn up on that in preparation for teaching 6 Coach Approach sessions during the month of March. 
Don't ask me what made me go into that ramble but I just felt you needed to know these things - I've been reading and commenting but not sharing so much with you all.....guess I feel guilty.
 CJ Clarke

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Hi Ho Hi Ho It's Off to DC we go

We just got home from taking the kids to Disney on Ice - the littler kids only, Alex isn't here this weekend.  Jeff did get a call from her and her mom - she'd been "skating" around on the very hard very frozen snow that's lying around, fell, and broke her arm.  This time up very high on the bone toward the shoulder - making it difficult to cast/treat.  Similar to the leg break which was a spiral fracture and difficult to cast/heal.  Can I tell you that this kid eats well including drinking lots of milk - what's with the bones?  Counting the two broken arms two summers ago and the broken leg last Spring - this is the 4th bone break and the same week Jeff signed her up for soccer - she cannot catch a break.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Both kids enjoyed Disney on Ice - <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Jackson is still up running on adrenaline and cotton candy.  Kate conked out in the car and slept through being put to bed.  We got in and out of DC without incident - didn't get lost like we usually do - hicks from the sticks that we are. 

Last's week's snow closed the schools around here for 3 days - unbelievable - and they have off on Monday as well.  Daycare has been open and we only stayed home with the kids one day.  Our side roads in the neighborhood are still doing that melting during the day freezing thing that makes it creepy and bumpy to get back home if you're out at night.  It's been the low 20's really have to bundle up every time you go out weather for the past two weeks or so.  I've been taking a shuttle to work from a nearby park n' ride so I'm standing out at the old bus stop waiting in the cold---brrrrr! 

Last weekend, which is the weekend you originally asked about Sue - we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese's fr lunch and to let them blow off some steam.  I've actually overcome my aversion to that place and have two game that I like to play - but of course I remember that I'm not there to amuse myself - but to make sure the kids have fun.  It's a poor substitute for letting them run around outside in the fresh air I'll tell you that much. 

Late is still just shy of being potty trained with her 3rd b'day coming up April 19.  She's working toward a Scooby Doo themed party at The Little Gym as her goal for getting diaper free. 

I'm applying to send Jackson to the Catholic school for kindergarten.  I'm not 100% sure I want to send him there straight through but for kindergarten purposes if he went to the public school for the 1/2 day kindergarten he'd be getting only 1/2 day of school curriculum vs. the full day he's been getting where he's gone to daycare & preschool vs. the full day he'd be getting at the Catholic school.  On top of that the after school daycare would cost the same as I pay to send him all day because he's really only gone 3 hrs or so, so the cost is the same - so I'm going to try out Our Lady of Hope, provided he gets in.  I'm trying to keep an open mind but the pastor is super conservative - and although I think of myself as conservative he's uber conservative - and there is a ton of pressure to be active in both parish and school - not that I disagree with that but using as criteria for admission I'm not so keen on.  But they do have limited spaces so we'll see how it goes.  His preK teacher gave him a glowing report on the form I asked her complete that goes along with his application.  You'd think I was trying to get him into Sidwell Friends or something.  (private school that Chelsea Clinton went to that happens to be right next door to the office I'm working at these days - at Fannie Mae in DC). 

My mom continues to recover - the shoulder being a much more painful rehab than the hip.  She went home to her own pad last weekend and I haven't talked to her yet this week but assume it's business as usual.  She's not yet driving I don't think though so doubt she's able to get any vino unless she asks my nephew to pick it up for her.  He's 21 now and living at her house.  If she asked him to he'd probably do it.  He was my heart when he was a baby but he's grown into a little jackass unfortunately. 

Other than the fact that I had my knee checked out because it gave out on me again about a month ago and in telling a few people I know that it's happened several times - not regularly but it does give out unexpectedly - they admonished me to have it looked at - turns out I tore my ACL which you may know is something that doesn't heal or grow back so I'm looking at surgery if I want it repaired.  Not that I think I'll be having that career as a professional dancer but do fear falling when I'm old and more brittle - also it hurts like hell when it gives out and I go down to the floor....which is actually what happened at my 25th high school reunion although at the time I attributed it to chugging most of a bottle of champagne before I even got there....There's no big rush with the knee - went to a doc who's big into sport medicine - treats the Redskins and all of that.  He took x-rays in the office and the bones look normal.  Now he wants to see an MRI so he can see exactly what I did in there.  Then we'll discuss options. 

Hope everyone is staying sane and warm....hope this snow didn't totally kill off my bulbs that had started to pop up green before this hit....



Sunday, February 4, 2007

What's It All About, Cynde?

Sunday afternoon – the time of the week I try to take stock of what I’ve accomplished recently and update my list of things I want and need to do.  The best way for me to get this going is by attending Mass which has a calming effect.  Getting in touch with the Lord reminds me that nothing is impossible and getting stuck in inactivity because I feel overwhelmed is a trap I easily fall into.  So getting calmed helps me see things in little pieces vs. a whole lot of everything that I can’t possibly keep up with or do well.  <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I’ve got a handful of major work things to take care of, most requiring at least an hour or more of my time.  I’m going to try to get that organized and some of it started today before I plunge into the work week and get distracted away from the to-do list. 

Here at home the laundry seems to be drying really slowly today giving me the feeling that I’ll never get it all done before bedtime.  That time estimate doesn’t include the folding of course.  But today I’m not letting it get me down.  Today I’m happy because on Friday I spent time with a few friends from the neighborhood to cheer one of them up because she’d lost a close friend to MS this week.  She was 48 years old.  Yesterday we got together with a couple who’ve come to mean a lot to us in a really short period of time.  So I’m glad that we left the household chores go for a day and got away for a bit to relate to other human beings.  The kids had a great time and our friends greatly enjoyed meeting our kids.  So what if the laundry didn’t get touched until today?

I feel like I never have enough sleep.  I feel like I could sleep for three days.  I know that would make me feel even more drained than usual.  The key is the rowing machine in the basement not the memory foam pillow on my bed.  I try to squeeze too much into the time allotted.  Not setting aside the “me” time makes me get up in the middle of the night to grab time to myself which, in turn, screws up my sleep and the next day.  I need a better plan, I need better discipline, more hours in a day would help but that’s not going to happen, I need to even further prioritize, I need to keep myself from getting lost in the sauce so I can step back and see what’s most important at any given time.

But I get so distracted by things I can’t control.  This is why going to Mass calms me – I’m reminded to put everything into His hands. 


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

What a Stale Blog - have you all given up?

My dear friend wrote to me – Do you know, I’m busier now that I’m not going in to work than when I worked?  It’s just like the retired folks say, you plan more things into your life and it just fills up!  To which I replied - <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

“yeah, people who say they couldn't see themselves not working are full of crap....who would work if they didn't have to work?  get serious!

I could fill the day with all sorts of needlework and other stuff and if I felt like spending a rainy day under the covers napping and reading - that's my perogative!

p.s.  Kate pished in her diaper - nothing was the diaper I'd just put on her though but she did warn me she had to go potty - worries - I plan on living at least until she's potty trained - matter of fact, after we hung up I negotiated a Dora the Explorer themed party at The Little Gym in exchange for her ceasing to poop her pants....

two bizarre things to tell you

my father called tonight to wish himself Happy Birthday - I was going to call him anyway and there is a card on it's way but it just got mailed today....

one of my fish - the one I've had the longest, Mr. Smith, likes to float upside down to sleep.  He has a special corner of the tank and he floats himself to the top and flips over, puts a fin out onto the side, mind you, to anchor himself in place....and hangs out there upside down...just what I need to scare the shit out of me every favorite fish playing dead...(no pun intended)

you are right, I have definitely carved out quite the life for myself...I really must update that stale blog of mine...




Must get to bed as I will never wake up and miss the shuttle on time if I don't get some sleep....tomorrow is my third try at catching the frigging shuttle to day too late, today - went to the wrong park and ride - tomorrow I catch that damn thing so I can blog all the way to work...