I’m sitting on the patio on Monday listening to the birds talk to one another and to the neighborhood waking up. The backyard is relatively quiet – no chipmunks or bunny rabbits darting around as of yet. I’m on a fine line between enjoying a tranquil few moments and the million thoughts chasing around in my head – things I want to do, things I could do, things I should do – and the desire to crawl back into bed and let the day decide for me. I woke up feeling like a blob this morning but not really sorry that I had that big bowl of ice cream with strawberry sauce (sugar free) last night. I had an ok sleep but toward morning was in one of those dreams where I’m excited about going someplace special and I have to get ready but can’t seem to get started and so I’m scurrying around the house and everywhere getting more and more agitated and anxious (in the dream). <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
I finally went to see my mother and realized it’s been nearly a year. She looked a lot better than I’d expected and the visit was great. She really enjoyed Kate and Kate really enjoyed her. I just made the mistake, though, of asking her if she’d come here for a visit next time and she said yes but with that hitch in her voice that tells me that she will never get here. I can’t dwell on that and let it ruin my whole day.
So the things I absolutely have to get done today – well there aren’t any. The things I’d like to get done are, in no particular order,
· get the laundry down to the basement and washed so Debbie can fold it if I don’t get to it
· get the herbs and veggies into the ground
· get my nails done
· take a walk or go to the gym
· scrapbook some and get my stuff organized for the next couple of times I go to crop
First, I’m going to shake this feeling that’s making me furrow by brow. Then, I’m going to take ten deep yoga breaths, then I’m going to call Aunt Dee and thank her for the lovely visit and ask her if she’ll come see us before too long. I know I’ll have to work around the days they have scheduled to go to Cape May. Next week may be the first little visit and there are 3 days in July – probably a few more in August.
Ok, I almost forgot, I’m a little bummed out that Val never made it over even for a drive by. She didn’t call or anything else and I’m working on not reading anything into it but my sense is that running into me is ok but making a special trip – well she’s just not ready for that or just not ready to run that one past Jim.
I think I hit all the high points and feel a bit better!!