Don't Make Me Go

What color is anxious anyway?  I try to match the font color to my mood...oh well, it's not exactly gray but I really dread going in to work tomorrow for some reason.  Nothing major is going on but it's facing the same old crap.  Sounds like big time burn out, no?  I felt horrible all day, sort of migraine coming on feeling and nauseous.  Feeling much better now but rather that going to bed early here I sit playing mah jong solitaire like a lunatic and getting more butterflies in my stomach the longer I sit.  I'm going to have to break down and listen to my voicemail in a second and then hit the sack.  My second interview for new job has not yet been confirmed which I find somewhat strange considering the recruiter's sense of urgency up until last week, and I think that I've made up my mind to switch to a different area for recruiting should it be offered to me.  Most of what's making me feel sick is the thought of facing the same two faced lying antileaders but I must do what my momma taught me and put on my happy face so I can get in there and do the job they're paying me to do.  No one ever knows for sure what the next day will bring and sometimes it's a pleasant surprise.  Hope springs eternal...the anxious comes from knowing that I have to make a change but not yet knowing what the right move will be.  I get this way whenever I make a decision to make a decision vs. maintaining the status quo.  Time to do some serious praying here along the "ask and it shall be answered lines..."  Just looking for a little direction here.  Off I go...

Cuppa Joe?

My Mr. Big Shot who wanted coffee this morning and drank the few drips I gave him, pronouncing it "good coffee huh?" was shy about going into his new room today.  Yes that's right, he drank some Illy brand espresso coffee sweetened with a little liquid sugar that I got for Christmas, and went off to school wanting to be carried.  That boy knows how to tug at my heartstrings from all sides, doesn't he?  How is it possible that I find a way to love him more each day?  His tantrums have drastically lessened and he's communicating at a higher level now - very entertaining to talk to these days.  He loves to play with Katherine and her new toys and has shown a willingness to share his things with her.  One of the things he started doing over the holiday break was helping to feed her and he's quite good at it when he concentrates on being gentle with her.  He's eating a lot better now and has cut back on his milk consumption as he's gotten more interested in different foods.  Some of his favorites are:  corndogs, quesidillas, spaghetti-o's, real spaghetti, chicken nuggets, french fries, and he's still a big fan of most fruits.  Right now he's diggin' clementines.  He's actually been eating his veggies including salad with tomatoes and has even tried cauliflower. 

Put It In Reverse

Miss Pink & Fluffy Katherine is getting mobile.  She has taken to moving herself in reverse, the backward squirm which, as I recall is the precursor to the commando crawl forward, leading to the full out crawl, leading to asking for the keys to the car...  

I took both kids to Mass this morning, ran a little late but pushed on anyhow - better late than not at all.  We'll work on the timing.  I didn't wake up intending to take them but forgot Jeff has cart racing every other Sunday.  I was thrilled to see Jackson saying The Lord's Prayer along with the rest of the congregation!  Time to teach another prayer I suppose and get started on a hymn or two.  Almost as cute as Jax knowing the words to Our Father was Jax getting his mouse, Squeak E. to stand up beside him when everyone else was standing up.  Got to love that boy!  And there is nothing better than napping with the kids than waking to find that hubby has started the dinner.  Yum!

What Kind of Cat Am I?

You are a Siamese! You are fun-loving, playful, energetic, talkative, and exotic. You are the center of attention and you love every minute of it.

Feeling pretty good despite polishing off a bottle of shiraz last night with my pork roast dinner.  I feel the good luck just flowing over here.  Between having the bayberry candles burn all the way down without going out on Christmas Eve to the yummy pork & sauerkraut good luck New Year's Day dinner this should be a damn good year. 

Or maybe it was the walk I took with neighborhood buddy MarciaMarciaMarcia (hereafter referred to as MMM) who is also my WW buddy...as in "going to WW with MMM"....or maybe it's the fact that I've decided to take charge of things with my life again rather than just going with the flow as I have been over the past five years.  Things will continue to get more organized around the house as we continue with the decluttering vs. letting it overwhelm us right out of the house.  Whether this job opportunity works out this week or not I am now officially on the hunt for a better situation.  Better professionally for me and financially for the family.  I thought my risk switch had been permanently pushed to the OFF position and I would try to hang on to my current role forever and ever but I keep landing in the same state of discontent and now that the childbearing has been accomplished it's time to take my own best advice about the griping - do something about it or STFU.  So I've made the decision to get back in the game and take advantage of the fact that I am in control instead of letting opportunities pass me by.  My resolutions for this year are the same as last - to keep going to Mass, keep saving a little more money, and keep exercising. 

 

 

Fa La La La La

Christmas was a big hit at our house.  The pierogis were made and eaten; the gifts were all wrapped, Santa's cookies were baked, and he made it down the chimney without no problem whatsoever.  Katherine was little Miss First Christmas playing with her toys and taking in the whole scene.  Jackson enjoyed opening and investigating his gifts and Alex - what can I say?  She's an old hand at this Christmas gig so she's got the drill down.  I hope she liked her things as much as she seemed to given there were fewer toys and more big girl things this year - cool boots (Ugs style), jacket from Limited too, couple of outfits from H&M, art supplies, etc.  Nary a doll in sight except for Kate's new babies including a Madame Alexander babydoll from Aunt Julie and a Cabbage Patch Kid with blonde pigtails that I fell in love with.  Mass was great and not the usual mob scene thanks to  the wonderful new pastor and his planning of 6 Christmas liturgies, four being on Christmas Eve.  The jumbo glass of egg nog spiked with Makers Mark went down very nicely afterward.  Which brings me to the next topic - my progress on Weight Watchers.  I'm bracing myself for backsliding at this week's weigh in and hope to at least stay at the same weight.  I've lost 2 lbs./wk over the last three.  I'm just praying that the appetite I have for the extra points I'm allowed as a nursing mother goes away when Kate weans.  I went into the holiday weeks with the mindset that I was not going to make myself miserable following the program until after the first of the year.  I am very glad that I started beforehand though so I'm not in the pack with the other newbies next week.  I didn't exactly go crazy either.  In general, I think the WW program is fantastic. 

One of my munchkin is calling for some snuggle time so I'm off.  More later on the new job prospects.  Wish this laundry would fold itself and disappear into our dressers.

Definition of Insanity

My plan is to get up tomorrow morning and commence making homemade pierogi then get all of my gift wrapping done, prepare the breakfast for tomorrow so that all I have to do is pop things into the oven, go to 8:00 mass tomorrow night.....I finally finished folding last week's laundry.  I'm happy with my executive decision to not wrap Kate's gifts....if I wrap Jackson's and Jeff wraps Alex's then we have to also wrap for each other....should be able to accomplish that...I want to be substantially done by the time I get home from Mass so I can pour a big glass of eggnog, spike it with Makers Mark and sit on the sofa to look at the tree...This is going to be one fun weekend but I need to prioritize the giftwrapping....I'm stalling though...

More Precious than Diamonds & Gold

I don't know why it is but the sight of the curve of my little baby's arm gives me such a rush of love.  She just oozes sweetness and never fails to bring a smile to my face but the sight of that chubby little arm encased in whatever pink material she's wearing - terry, fleece, velvet, cotton knit, I just love the the curve of that arm from the shoulder to the wrist.  Why is she making me crazy tonight and insisting on burying her face in whatever is available so I'm afraid she won't be able to breathe?  Maybe I'll go disturb her just so I can pick her up and snuggle her some more, cherishing each moment of her...