An Aha Moment Was All I Needed

As my 6 faithful followers know I have not blogged regularly and have not blogged at all for 7 months. There has been plenty going on; plenty on my mind to write about but it's settling down to write that has been a challenge. You may interpret that as I have been too lazy to just do it. It's ok, I know the deal.

So I thought I would break out of the dry spell by sharing the note I wrote to my DH this afternoon on what has been a brutal day for me. Sniff, Sniff, Whine, Whine, right? No, this isn't a pity party. It's a "things finally bit me in the ass" kind of thing.

Today, 3:00 p.m.

Dear Husband,

Today is, by far, the worst work day I've had in a long time. I'm off the hot seat now so I thought I'd take a moment to just think about all of it and put into perspective by writing to fill you in vs. having a good cry and telling you about it later.

I was up until 3:00 this morning trying to pull the last pieces of this work document together. It wasn't until very late and after many interruptions that I realized how much formatting, cutting and pasting remained to get everything into the appendix, etc.

Last night I'd told colleague that I had it under control. We'd had a 5:00 deadline which the mgr was willing to push out so I told her to go on her merry way with her plans for the evening. The deadline slipped to 10:00, then to first thing this morning. I worked on it and tried to get as far along as possible until my eyes started to cross and I just had to get to bed. Well I woke to my cell phone ringing at 9:45 and it was the colleague. We had to do tons more editing and formatting to really get this thing ready for manager review. Well, it took two of us until about an hour ago to get it polished to the point of being client-ready. So I feel like shite about that. I honestly thought the wrap up would take an hour last night once I got done writing. I didn't even realize how many documents we actually had to put into the appendix - try 60 pages worth.

Insult to injury was that my right hand was numb when I tried to sit down to plunge into this again. Yes, the old tension knot in my back was doing a number on my hand. Makes it fun to to type!

To make matters worse, this lovely pimple on my face that I had to pick at the other day is killing me - at least I don't have to go out of the house with this open wound on my cheek. Pass the Halloween candy please?

So I finally get rolling along but Kate had been complaining about not feeling well and not wanting to go to school. She's been really sensitive and whiny and I thought it was a phase but maybe she is truly down with something. As I was trying to salvage some self-respect and credibility by getting my piece of the document done (did I mention this involves a lot of desk-top publishing type stuff that I am lousy at but learning ever so quickly?) it's time for Kate to leave for school. But she's crying that her head hurts and she doesn't want to go. I tried to calm her down and get her to talk to me so I could see what's really going on. I ended up telling her to go upstairs and lie down on the sofa. Then had to call the lovely lady at the school who yelled at me once because I called the absentee line after 9:30. I still haven't been up to check on her because I've only now just stopped to breathe. I wish we had a bathroom down here in the basement.

There's more. I just saw an email from our practice leader that one of my favorite senior managers is leaving the company and that makes me want to just cry. He's one of the leaders I really look up to and has also become a good ally within the practice. Bye bye to him.

I need to go check on Kate, find something for lunch, and then brace myself for the rest of what this day is going to send my way. My next thing is due by Monday at 9:30 or 10:00 and you can bet I'm starting it now. My year of learning the ropes in consulting continues with another big chomp out of my a$$ from procrastinating, underestimating the time it will take for something I've never actually done before, I could go on and on.

The good news is that the "aha" moment I've needed is finally here.

p.s. the dogs have moved to chewing on the pillows of the sofa down here now that I've spent 3 days moving every single toy out of their reach....they will be going to their crates now.

Your loving wife