Wise Words for Tough Times

First, I must apologize if you came here to read a quote from the man on the mountain - it's just me. I just wrote an email to someone I know who is having a tough time and it turned into such the pep talk that I felt I needed to scrub it and post it - it falls under the rant category of Cynde rants and raves for sure, for sure....

Here goes:

I know it’s really hard but try not to fall apart – when you start to think about the bigger picture and feel yourself starting to crumble remember that no one is about to foreclose on our homes and if and go to a different school/camp over the summer and/or next year it will not be the end of the universe. Just like it wasn’t the end of the universe when didn’t get into to and now I don’t have to pay tuition for him, oh AND we all love Elementary, oh AND I’ve made several really lovely friends through my contact with ….


You are doing the right stuff – exercise helps vastly with depression and you are keeping your body strong! Reaching out when you are feeling iffy – definitely it’s hard to sink into depression when you are around people…or, at a minimum, in touch with people. I know you’re angry with but his situation right now is all the proof you need that YOU cannot fall to pieces such that you’re unable to hold that household together….you’re a good example for him as well because you are doing all the right stuff to take care of yourself. If you’re feeling this roller coaster every day you should touch base with because maybe you need a strong dose of something right now – it’s scary out there but believe it or not you are in a VASTLY greater spot than most people – believe it – people are getting evicted from rentals because they can’t pay the rent and are living in county provided motel rooms with their kids - cooking dinner in the bathroom and stowing all their gear in garbage bags. I know it feels horrible but you will come through this just fine – you are doing all the right things – when you fall to pieces about losing the house or divorcing you, you sound like a lunatic though – that is NOT going to happen. Things are going to get better – last economic forecast I heard about was 2nd half of 2010. This is a distance race not a sprint – stop panicking every day about the big picture – just do the best you can every day and if you can’t be effective on the phone then

p.s. God will take care of you and yours – I believe with all my heart that your generosity to anyone and everyone in the past will come back to you but you need to calm down with the paranoia…

p.p.s. you are not a bad mother – if kids are acting naughty and ungrateful and God forbid, disrespectful, then they need to be handled accordingly. Knowing that they are loved no matter what but that you command, deserve, require, their respect is what’s important. Buying them things when they’re pissed at us or we feel guilty about something will not do our kids any favors – it will teach them that bad behavior is rewarded – that they deserve something each and every time they feel wronged whether they actually are or they aren’t – and that you are a doormat. Especially right now – it’s the perfect time to teach them about waiting for the things that they want, that there is no such thing as immediate gratification (no need to go into the masturbation exception at this early stage in their lives), and most importantly the value of things – what they receive from us has value, and mostly our work goes into obtaining those things of value, and that is not unlimited – if we lose our jobs or get sick and cannot work there are no more new things coming in the door and even if that doesn’t happen now is a time when others are losing their jobs, entire companies are shutting down and even if we have the money it’s not a time to be frivolous. There’s a tremendous lesson to be learned (by us and our whole society) about experience times tougher than we could ever imagine.

Must go get dressed for my important job downtown working on matters of national security….don’t laugh – when this stupid vetting process is over with I will be keeping our borders safe from infidels who come here to do us harm! You’ll see! ok, maybe not - but the desktop publishing edits and formatting I'm doing right now will make someone very very happy today!