Husband's Performance Review

DH and I get really uneasy around review time because we're not the type to kiss corporate ass nor hold our tongues in matters when we feel the right thing isn't being done - for the client - not for ourselves. So our good reputations and work product aside (I mean RESULTS) sometimes we feel we're merely tolerated as necessary evils in the organization so when review time comes along we KNOW we're not going to get the highest ratings....and today is DH's performance review so created my own review of his performance as husband and father and sent him the following:
Name: Jeff Clarke
Position: Husband and Father
Time in Position: 10 Years

Category Rating

Snuggliness 1
Keeping your looks 1
Dependability 1
Provide for family 1
Can fix anything 1
Reassurance/Security Quotient 1
Fun Dad 1
Devotion to kids 1
Bad Habits to a Minimum 1
Partnering 1

Overall Awesome Rating 1

Performance Notes: You are appreciated by your family because you are always there for us to take care of things and provide reassurance (by your readiness to say “do not fret my pet” anytime necessary) and stay calm in emergencies. You are especially loved by your children because you spend most of your time taking care of them and making sure they are having fun. You are loved by all of us including the critters for being wonderful awesome you.

Scale: 1 = Super Outstanding; No one else comes close