Workin' for a Living

People often ask me how I do it and I just laugh a little. Because I just do. It's a big juggling act. It's having it all but not all at the same time. It's you're teaching this semester and big new prof on campus but the laundry isn't getting done so much and that's irritating. It's having the weekend off from your full time job but having papers or exams to grade. It's finally feeling like you're turning the corner after the struggle of the transfer into the consulting role but missing all but one of the kids' school events....

I love irony...I'm on the school scrapbook committee and had absolutely no event pics of either child to contribute this year.

I'm an all or nothing kind of girl in every sense of the word I guess...

Seriously, it's all about balance...it's about maintaining even the slightest bit of control over the areas that matter and letting yourself decide that some areas matter less and some not at all. It's about not worrying who else does it better or differently or stressing because you can't or don't want to do something the way you've always done it ...cooking it from scratch, etc. Life is too short....

The secret is in the balance and sometimes things tip too far in one direction or the other. As long as you catch it and give yourself permission to take the time to catch up on the things that might have gone awry. Trying to be perfect is a futile and thankless endeavor. We're human....if we take ourselves too seriously we add unnecessary pressure and stress to our lives. And "when momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy"....who wants to live like that.

I like to leave it in God's hands. My sacrifices I offer up to God, working through my frustrations I offer up to God, using my talents to help people I offer up to God, inspiring me to raise my children to be good little Catholic people I request of God, being present in the moment and not dwelling on past disappointment or worries about the future I'm able to do when I leave it up to God.

Dear God, Thank you for the abundant blessings in my life...my wonderful children, my nice home and neighborhood and neighbors, my 10 years working for a great company, the opportunity to teach at Georgetown, the friends who are there when I need to talk or need a word of encouragement, for knowing that my mother loves me even though she can't be here for me the way I want and need her to be, for my godparents who treated me as their own child and love me "just because". For another day and another opportunity to serve you. Thank you Lord.

Amen.

Is it really mid-August? School Supplies Blues

Summer has been a blur....no surprise there....


this has been quite the weekend - this is what's gone on....

I was uninvited to a reunion that I'd previously been invited to (it was just teasing, good thing I'm not sensitive?)...

I drove 40 minutes to a friends to work on layouts for my kids' school scrapbook and forgot most of the pictures I'd planned to use...

The track ball on my NEW blackberry died ...

I went to the A T & T store to blackberry track ball replaced knowing there was a chance they didn't do service at that location....45 mins later it was confirmed that they do not do service at that location...I do not like to waste 5 mins much less 45!

In between all that I subjected myself to a bikini wax....no, I don't wear a bikini!

I got home and baked brownies. While they were on the back of the stove cooling one of the boxers, not sure whether it was Dumb or Dumber, managed to drag the pan forward and slurp a sizable chunk out of the middle.....precious puppies...

Weather forecast for tomorrow is thunder showers...do I commute into DC or work from home? Pros and Cons to both....

I cannot believe that school starts up in 3 weeks....the good news is that I ordered all of the school supplies from Amazon.com, got free shipping, and the prices are comparable to what's in Target....

What happened to going back to school with a new school bag, pencil case, two sharpened #2 pencils, a red pencil and a pink pearl eraser? I spent nearly $100 on school supplies and I'm not quite done. There's another $25-$30 on the list of things needed. Granted, I did not go to public school. My mom paid tuition but I have to believe that I'm shelling out more per year per child now for public school than she paid in tuition for the whole year?

I wonder how many pairs of Fiskars blunt tip kid scissors I will end up buying before I'm done? I think I've already bought a minimum of a half dozen.

I guess I should be grateful neither is into clothes at the moment - track pants and t-shirts work for him and whatever I buy is is fine with her because she sheds that and puts on her track pants and t-shirt as soon as she gets home...she's leading a double life...girly girl by school hours and tom-boy at home. Don't tell her I told you!

Mid-Summer Touchpoint.....

The kids are having a pretty good summer and playing with neighborhood friends, just like in the old days when no one had yet coined the term "play date".

I've been busy with work during this middle part of the summer but not teaching. It's the good kind of busy - interesting work, interesting client, great team, clear expectations, good communication, flexibility about where I work. Everything I love about working at Deloitte!

We took our Outer Banks, NC beach vacation a bit earlier this year mostly due to indecision about whether to take the house for 1 week or 2 causing a delay in reserving and so we had to take what was available. One week is never enough in Corolla. I was ready to come home because of things on my mind back home, mostly work, but I could have been convinced to stay. We had a lovely week with no rainy, non-beach days. I read four books, did a fair amount of knitting, rode a bike to the beach every day, and steaming broccoli one evening was the extent of my cooking.

While I love late August vacations I will admit that having a little more summer left after the vacation is a nice change. I can actually show off my "savage tan" at the pool if the mood strikes.

I have a day of boating on Lake Anna, a trip with Kate and another mom and daughter to NYC to the American Girl Place, the Donna Summer concert to look forward to before summer ends.

This narrative of "what I did this summer" is devoid of any of my musings and witty remarks so pretty boring fare. More to come!

Where On Earth Have I Been?

I've been working, I've been teaching, I've been taking care of home and hearth....I've been moping and wasting time in between like I always do!

Admitting the problem is the first step toward recovery though, right?

Sad, headache-y, feeling like I want to run away somewhere or at least hide here locally. I'm getting my wish. Going away on business travel for most of the next three weeks. Coming home on weekends. Can't even believe that starts on Monday.

Why can't I get motivated with this dream life of mine?

Earth to Cynde - snap out of it!

If I Told You

That I worked from the time I got downstairs, maybe got up once but I don’t so,
I think my a$$ was in the chair the whole time until 2:00
So 7 a.m. to 2 p.m.
When I learned that everything I’d done lacked one change
So I have to go back and put the change in to every piece I worked on
Took me 7 hrs
Has to be done over –wiould you believe me?
Believe it
So I
Took a shower
Ate something
Came upstairs and set up for a change of scene
Feel like I’m in a bad dream right now
Blue and overwhelmed
Kids are in a good mood though, thank goodness for that
And CCD usually keeps them in a good mood.
Just letting you know what’s going on around here

from the heart

Someone who recently lost her soul mate posted on FB "is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?" My response was that it is better to have loved and lost. Ideally, we don't suffer a great deal of loss in our lives but on the other hand the suffering makes us who we are.

But this loving thing. To truly love someone for who they are, just as they are and have them return that love is one of the most amazing feelings in the entire world. It's not just romantic love. It's an amazing feeling any time you connect with someone and can just feel that they love you, truly love you.

Today my heart is full of love and gratitude for the people in my life who love me

Anam Chara

ANam Chara: ‘Soul Friend’. In early Irish monasticism, the anam chara was a fellow monk, nun, or priest who formed a personal relationship with another individual, listened to their private confessions, provided them with spiritual advice, and finally performed last rites upon their death. The concept spread quickly through the Celtic world, and later even secular people might have a particular monk, nun, or priest to be an anam chara for them as well.

In nineteenth century Scotland, anam chara was also used to refer to one who recites the death prayers over the dying and the dead. This meaning is obviously an organic extension of the primary meaning given above.Though some have proposed ancient pagan origins for anam chara, citing its resemblance to the Hindu Acharya; it is more likely emerged from a purely Christian context, anam chara being a direct translation of ‘psykhikos philos’. This of course does not preclude its usage in a modern pagan

context, for individuals and traditions which find value in the practice. This seems kind of morbid but when you think about it having someone in your life that cares about every breath you take even to your last is a real blessing. Yesterday my yoga teacher retweeted the following:

JoeMullally: "A true (Anam Chara) soul friend cherishes U completely just as U are & wears your name upon their heart, always"

and I found it to be very beautiful.

Happy Thanksgiving!