Monday, July 19, 2004
Thursday, July 8, 2004
Wednesday, July 7, 2004
On the Road to the Outer Banks
163.5 this a.m. and we're into the home stretch for the vacation. Jeff's mom arrives tomorrow afternoon. Today I'll start pulling together all of our gear. There's nothing to panic about right? Must go get ready for the big bathing suit buying excursion now! More later. I found 2 suits that fit and didn't look unflattering, they were on sale but if I have to go back tomorrow to buy them in order to get the extra 20% off. Don't get me started but the less I pay for these jumbo suits the better I'll like it!
This may sound counterintuitive but I'm really looking forward to hanging out with my MIL. She's really cool and she hasn't visited in a couple of years and she will sit by the pool with me and have cocktails and chat. Jeff isn't into that but she will hang with me and I'm looking forward to it!
It has four bedrooms on 2 levels; 2 being master suites with full bath, one upstairs and one downstairs. There is plenty of room to spread out which will not be the case when we're all crammed like sardines into the minivan, dogs included. I already know I have a screw loose, let's not be redundant! So this a.m. hubby says "you don't seem excited about the vacation!" "Well,:" I said, "I have to pull together all of our clothes (me, him, 3 kids), decide what food to bring on the trip and what to buy there & plan car snacks, talk to the person watching the house & the cat, pick up dogfood, make sure we take the sand toys & beach towels, what about a first aid kit of some kind, um, I think I'm in the mood for apple martinis again better hit the liquor store for a bottle of sour apple stuff, oh, and I need to shop for those darned bathings suits, spray my roses once more, brush the dogs, clean out refrigerator, worry how it will all fit into the car, etc." The mind reels and yet here I am blogging away. I perform best under pressure and I know it'll all work out. It always does with us. At least sd is already here for the duration & no further dealing withher mother required. We don't have to make the trip out to Club Pet with the dogs (aka the pe(s)ts). Jeff is off tomorrow and Friday and that crafty thing changed his voicemail TODAY although he's there, to say he's out until the 20th - giving himself today AND the day he gets back to have a little peace to get things done. We don't call him a rocket scientist for nothing! Oh, that's right, he's a rocket scientist.
Tuesday, July 6, 2004
The Lighter Side of Court
Our lawyer was thinking of calling me as a witness so assumed I had to wait outside the courtroom until called (I presume to not merely corroborate what other witness said?). Well I had Kate with me as I didn't know how long I'd be gone and she's not into taking a bottle yet, etc.
Well she gets hungry and I figure it'll be a while until I'm called so I go into the bathroom to nurse the baby thinking if I take the edge off she'll go to sleep but she didn't. So I don't feel like going into the bathroom again and it's like a ghost town where I am because nothing's going on in the courtroom next door and we're the only case being heard in the one Jeff's in yada yada...so I go down to the far corner on a bench that recessed into the wall and proceed to take care of our business. It's only afterward when I was up and walking around again that I noticed the security camera perched way up high. So now I'm a porn star but then to make me even happier Kate projectile vomits all over. But I got her cleaned up again and disposed of the mess and rocked her some and wound up feeding her again in the bathroom and holding her and walking with her until she feel asleep. At this time court is over and it's time to go home so maybe it's a good thing the tw*t made me out to be the wicked witch of the west in there and Rich decided not to call me as a witness after all. I was very busy.
So we're home and I post my blog to get that off my chest and my friends rally with their support and now I am off to buy Japanese beetle traps and pick up the Little Prince and turn this damn day around, right? Wrong! The rocket scientist went off with my keys. So I send a page to ask if he has them but in the meantime remember that I have a valet key for the new minivan. Off we go to Home Depot to arm motherfor the fight against garden invaders. (Sidebar: HD has the beetle traps but not the metal stands you hang them on so am I to stand outside with a trap in each hand waiting for the little buggers to come over? Can I not catch a break today?) Yes and now we have the traps and we pick up the sweet son whose excitement to see me wipes away the cares of the day. On the way home we find rocket scientist's pager in the glove box so he is blissfully unaware that he's made off with my keys. Probably better that way. Meanwhile again he sends a blog of his own to the lawyer to say he doesn't feel we were adequately prepared and so on and so forth and today was a waste and stuff like that. It's 5:32 p.m. here in Virginia so definitely past 6 somewhere in the world. Let happy hour begin! I think I'll have a slurp before I tackle #1 precious son's dirty diaper.....and I'll end on a serious note with a rewording of the very nice thing one of my bestest friends said to me this afternoon-as long as SD feels she is loved by us WE WIN! Thanks for that Ivan! 
Our Day in Family Court
re: Visitation with Jeff's daughter. Ok, trying really hard here to view this as a win. We wanted clarification on the Wednesday visitation. Ok, so we got the clarification but it wasn't necessarily the answer Jeff wanted. The visit is 3-8 p.m. and will stay that way. If Jeff is more than an hour late to pick up the visit can be denied. This is what had been happening - visits denied because Jeff picked up after 3 - to promt us to go to court in the first place. I'm not going to get into the part about there should have been an understanding between Jeff and OUR lawyer about what had been happening up to this point, or not, and there wasn't and they tried to figure it all out between 9:15 and 10:00 when the session was to begin. Long story short on this part, we'd asked for visits to start at 3 but meant "as early as 3" and this was very important when the visits ended at 8. However, for the past 5 years the Wednesday visits were overnights and Jeff picked sd up between 5 and 6 on Wed. This was fine until a couple of months ago. Don't know why it suddenly became an issue; can only suspect it had something to do with the impending birth of our 2nd child and possible sd's excitement over same. Net: Jeff has to pick up between 3 and 4 or lose the visit unless some agreement to make the pick up later is reached with the mom. Yeah, right. Ok, so we wanted to have the Wed. nite and every other weekend visits end in an overnight vs. return to mother's house. Ok, so now our Sunday nights are overnights but not the Wednesdays. We win there. As for all of the not making sd available for the twice weekly telephone calls stipulated in the visitation agreement; the anxiety caused sd when she forgets to bring her socks back home to her mother's; the telling her she can't wear the necklace her brother gave her for Christmas; etc. That wasn't addressed at all by the judge and our lawyer felt the reason is that ex had a file full of notations on instances where I had said or done bad things to her. Net: we were bad & she was bad so we got sent home with nothing on that. Ok, so those were the issues and that was the outcome. What's really making me sad is that sd's mother can work full time, take classes 3 nights a week, leave sd home alone for a few hours (age 9) if she doesn't have a babysitter, and sit there in a courtroom and say she's concerned about Jeff's parenting because sd broke arm at daycare (Jeff wound up taking her to the hospital but that didn't come out) and I said bad things about her and we lived together before we were married and blah blah blah. None of that matters. I treat sd as if she were my own. She's been telling me every weekend that she's here that she wishes I were her mom and that ignorant woman can spew nonsense and I have no forum for rebuttal. I guess I just had to get this all out and then remind myself of what I've been telling myself for the past 8 years....LOVE WINS IN THE END. So I will take a deep breath, draw my own 2 children close and look in their smiling angelic faces and continue to love and care for sd to the best of my ability as if she were my own daughter and know that I am doing what I do for her and for myself and for Jeff and our family and I don't need validation from anyone else. I try so hard not to think hateful thoughts but I fail. This is my big test and I systematically fail at it. Ok, I've not done anything ever to engender love from this woman and in fact have pretty much let her know how I feel about her but it's been 8 years and she's still trotting out her file and talking about perceived wrongs from 1996. And so it leaves me feeling even though we gained something we lost....
So tomorrow should be tons more fun that today. I'm off to find a bathing suit for my 30 lbs. overweight post partum (think Reubenesque) physique. I should be flying high by this time tomorrow, huh? I did weigh in 1.5 lbs. lighter today though.
Monday, July 5, 2004
Princessina
The baby princess (Princessina) slept through the night! She fell asleep at about 11:00 and woke up shortly before 6:00 a.m. Mommy got a terrific rest, fed her, let the dogs out and then went back to sleep. Daddy made omelets for breakfast and now at 10:15 all of the kids are either sleeping or watching MP. The pe(s)ts are even reclining peacefully outside in the sunshine. Should we prepare to go to the pool later? 
Speaking of the pool, my to do list is chock full of things to get ready for the family vacation. 
Also, cancel their reservation at Club Pet!!
Sunday, July 4, 2004
Five Foot Two Eyes of Blue
165 lbs. this a.m. Yes, a bold move to note weight but I am not happy that I have not lost in proportion to the amount I lost after my last pregnancy. Specifically, I gained 20 lbs. less this time so I should be 20 lbs. ahead of the game but alas I am right where I was 3 mos. after the first one! To what do I attribute this? The Oreo cookie and Lucky Charm binges that characterized the first month and a half after giving birth and now, my return to daily wine consumption. First step is that I've eliminated the middle of the night bowl(s) of cereal after feeding the baby. Second, we're limiting portions around here starting a few days ago. Third, happy hour now starts at 6:00 instead of 4:00 if there is a happy hour at all. I'll get into the exercise part later on.
Happy Birthday USA! Dad and the 2 older kids just went down the street to watch some fireworks. I'm home with baby because I think the noises would be too much for her little ears at close range AND it is humid as the dickens around here and I abhor humidity when I'm uncomfortable to begin with and I'm uncomfortable to begin with today. I'm also thinking those vile mosquitos will be out there doing their bloodsucking thing and I do not want to expose the little princess to that either. So I get to stay home and watch the dogs quake with fear at the loud & sudden popping sounds.
I don't know why I feel frustrated. I finally coaxed Jeff into putting up the brackets for my window treatments in the master bedroom. After viewing the finished product he proclaimed it to look exceptionally nice in there. Hmmmmpf! Why does he think I was after him since March to help me get it done? I am quite pleased with the result and also that I hung up some pictures in Jackson's room. Slowly but surely things are being ticked off my list! I feel better already!
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